Five consequences of complaining about your job and how to exercise your personal power
Here are five reasons why you don’t want to be a complainer:
Diminishes our personal power: As human beings we were endowed with power. That is the power to dominate our circumstances as a birthright. Most of nature has very little choice when it comes to their existence. An acorn tree in New York is unable to pick up and move to Florida for warmer weather. Animals live their lives based on instinct not choice. They are relegated to mating seasons and even their diet is instinctive. However, we were given the gift of being able to choose and make decisions. So, when we complain we weaken our personal God-given power.
The workplace is filled with complainers, they hate their job, they hate their boss, etc. and live in a world of limiting beliefs negating the fact they have the power to change their situation.
Weakens the brain’s ability to find solutions: When we complain, we are subconsciously telling ourselves we do not have the power to change the situation. Complaining distracts the brain from finding solutions.
If you ask complainers why they go to a job they hate, they will tell you jobs are hard to find. Is that true or is it a limiting belief? I know a woman who worked with her husband for years and decided at the age of seventy she wanted to take her accounting skills to a new company. This was at a time when I encountered so many people who said there were no jobs. I had a forty-year old tell me people didn’t want to hire her because she was too old. This seventy-year old put out her resume and never considered her age. She was called in for an interview, beat out all the younger candidates and was awarded the job. It was never a part of her consciousness that jobs were scarce, or she may be too old.
Creates a negative disposition: I could say no one likes complainers, but that is not true. Complainers love complainers and in almost every workplace there is that contagious group who are just unhappy about everything and they take delight in gathering together to talk about all the things on the job they don’t like. These are the ones who can find the negative in everything. They are resistant to change, new people and new policies. They are difficult to work with because they can only express what won’t work, never any solutions.
Attracts more of the same: Of course, whatever we focus on expands. Our brains will point out to us whatever we are looking for, seek and you shall find. Complainers naturally see more things to complain about. These are the people at work who cite everyone is fake and management doesn’t care. You will find complaining becomes a habit and shows up in every area of your life. It is invasive. After all, look around there is a lot to complain about. Even if you get a new job, soon you will be complaining there too.
Transforms you into a victim
Complaining turns you into a victim. Complainers go to work as if they are being held at gunpoint, kicking and screaming all the way. They use disempowering words like ‘I have to’ and ‘I can’t’. If you convince yourself there is nothing you can do beside complain about the things you don’t like, you suffer from disempowerment. You are a victim to your circumstances.
Instead of complaining make a choice. The best time to find a new job is when you have a job. Being employed makes it easier to interview from a place of power instead of desperation. However, if you decide to stay at a job you loathe for whatever reason, be intentional and accept it as your choice. You may stay because it’s easier than looking for another job or the pay outweighs the things you dislike.
Realize it is your choice and own it. Now you can choose to make the most of the experience. You don’t have to be miserable. Make a list of all the good things you can appreciate about the job you have. Look for what you can learn to prepare yourself for your future endeavors.
If you work with challenging personalities, realize their purpose in your life may be to help you to grow. Everyone comes into your sphere for a reason. If you work with someone you can’t stand, it is time for introspection. What is going on inside of you that is causing you to feel angst toward someone else?
Sometimes we find recurring themes in our lives. No matter where we go, the same personality type shows up. If you find you are always dealing with a backstabber, a bully or any other type of nemesis, stop and ask yourself why. Is there a lesson you need to learn or an area where you need to grow? You will continue to repeat the situation until you learn the lesson.
I read a blogger’s story about his difficult boss. He was gruff, and the blogger hated working for him. However, he noticed there were others who got along with his boss, though he found him unbearable. One day he’s decided to see his boss differently. He chose to see him as a difficult person with a good heart. He went on to relay how that relationship changed when he did. He learned to appreciate his boss for who he was and eventually came to actually enjoy working for him. When he decided to accept and value his boss, he grew to genuinely like him and no longer saw him as difficult. After three years on that job, he developed a genuine appreciation for the man he previously found unbearable.
Complaining is disempowering. Lay claim to your personal power to take control of your life.
If you would like to learn to stand in your personal power for career and business success, send an email to get information on one-on-one coaching.
• Kim Welcome is the CEO of Influential Voice. A communication trainer and coach, she assists businesses and professionals to achieve their goals by helping them to develop deliberate, skillful, polished communication skills. Contact: [email protected] or call 242-225-9013.
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