Op-Ed

Shame on you, body shamers and handicapped parking violators

Despite the traffic all over the road, both human and vehicular, I was glad to see the return of carnival this past weekend.

After being locked down and locked out during the pandemic, carnival revelers were “jonesing” to hit the road and “whine up” themselves.

For others, such as myself and my neighbors, Carnival Saturday “Road March” is an excellent opportunity to fill the cooler with beers and break out the grill, dominoes table and assemble in someone’s yard (this year, it was mine), men only, in accordance with the “bro code” for fellowship and sightseeing.

And “holy moly” were there some sights to see!


All shapes and sizes:

The costumes in this year’s Carnival Road March once again proved my theory of “spandex” being a lie to be true.

I was glad to see the event well attended, with no significant incidents among the participants (not counting one alleged incident involving an MP and an RBPF officer) and everyone having trailer loads of fun.

It was refreshing in its unique way to see Bahamians genuinely enjoying themselves again.


Why the hate?

I found it quite distasteful that body shaming is still prevalent on Bahamian social media platforms.

I wonder if it ever occurred to the cowardly hatemongers, who hide behind keyboards, posting visceral comments every chance they get on every social media platform they can find.

None of the carnival’s participants, big-bodied or small, old or young, tall or short, drunk or sober, are checking for any of your idiotic, hate-filled posts.

Do you think after being cooped up for two years, and after contorting their bodies, God only knows how, to cram into those costumes, especially the dental floss ones, that any of the carnival participants are on your run? Or care?!

They just wanted to beat the road bad, and that they did, opinions be damned.

Good for them!


The blue lines are there for a reason:

FYI, driving public, the blue handicapped spots were created to facilitate disabled persons in their attempt to lead everyday, productive lives, not to be abused by the ‘D’ average ‘jungaliss’ who’s just “flashing in” to top off their phone and grab a bar of “cake soap”.

It’s also not for the wannabe bad boy whose food order is ready.

It’s sad that, in 2022, many drivers (both legal and the ones who bought their licenses) don’t regard those blue-lined spaces as hallowed ground, as in off-limits unless you are truly handicapped.


The twilight zone:

More bizarre than this blatant disregard for common courtesy – and the law – are some of the excuses I’ve heard in my misadventures into parking “La La Land”, where, on occasion, I’ve had to pull a page out of my Jokers Wild joke book and “bless” said transgressor.

Here’s my favorite excuse of all time:

Kelly’s parking lot, Marathon Mall – I questioned the offender, to which she replied, “I just spend a gunk on dese nails for one wedding. You can’t see they match my head?” (They did match the purple, yellow and pink colors in her ghetto fabulous hairdo.) I can’t walk all the way across dis big, breezy parking lot and mess up my hair and nails.”

At that moment, I instantly realized that her etiquette matched her fashion sense – non-existent.


Moving forward:

The only advice I can offer is this: actual disabled people, be strong, keep the faith, and know that you still have me as a “champion” for your cause, trained by late Auntie Kay, who was also handicapped, a fiery double amputee.

So, please rest assured knowing that these offenders will be chastised and made humble for their indiscretions publicly.

You all know I have many platforms.

Please don’t make me go there!

To the offenders, I say this: Your lack of respect, common sense, compassion, rationale, and blatant disregard for your fellow man is lousy and pathetic.

By your actions, it’s obvious you are handicapped socially – not legally.


Crazy doesn’t cut it:

And before you ask, being called “crazy” doesn’t get you a handicap parking permit either.

Until next week, let your conscience be your guide, especially out of handicapped parking spaces.

Inigo “Naughty” Zenicaze- laya is the host of radio show “Talking Heads” on Guardian Radio.

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